While it might seem that the online classroom, as a reflection of academia, is a cordial and polite space for discussion, those in the trenches know that bullying and political unrest can show up even there. One problem gaining recognition is microaggressions. According to Merriam-Webster, a microaggression is “a comment or action that subtly and often unconsciously or unintentionally expresses a prejudiced attitude toward a member of a marginalized group (such as a racial minority).”
Because instructors often learn of challenging situations from students, a trusting environment is key in addressing this issue. You can establish trust at the start of class by asking students to share a bit about themselves and also sharing why your subject matters to you. Humor is a great way to humanize students and break down potential barriers before they have a chance to become established. A good book on this subject is The Speed of Trust by Stephen Covey. The book not only explains the business case for the value of trust in working relationships (applicable to students and teachers as well) but it includes step-by-step ideas for building and, if needed, repairing trust when it has been broken. An atmosphere of trust in the online classroom gives students the confidence to come to you when problems arise.
Another strategy is to identify positive intentions. It is easy to assume the worst when someone is on the other side of a challenging situation. But few people are genuinely cruel. Usually they have a motivation that makes perfect sense to them. Before having a difficult conversation, spend some time thinking about what might motivate the challenging behavior besides a simple desire to be mean or difficult.
Additionally, people tend to have a negativity bias when reading text. Maybe the student is misinterpreting another student’s comment. You can start the conversation by stating what you think to be the underlying cause of the student’s behavior, which can disarm the student and often illuminate any misunderstandings.
The next strategy is to deal with the challenging situation as quickly as possible. Most people want to put off uncomfortable confrontations for as long as possible. The hope is that by doing so, the issue will go away. Unfortunately, that usually doesn’t happen—indeed the situation often gets worse. Then, when the conversation finally happens, the other person may justifiably ask, “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” Avoiding procrastination allows you to nip the problem in the bud, before it gets out of hand.
Now that you have decided to have the challenging conversation, the next strategies will address how to have it successfully. You’ll want to avoid having the conversation in text. When you think about it, most communication in a conversation does not occur in words. People respond to tone of voice, hand gestures, facial expressions, and eye contact. All of these indicators are missing in a text-based conversation.
Have this kind of conversation in person if possible. If a face-to-face conversation is not possible, use a video chat tool such as Zoom, Skype, or Blackboard Collaborate Ultra. Be sure that both participants have live video. If only one person is able to benefit from the visual cues, the imbalance is as problematic as not having video at all.
If you can’t be in person or use live video, the next best thing is the telephone. While the body language won’t be evident, you will still benefit from hearing another’s tone of voice and pauses.
Once you are having the conversation, you’ll want to express yourself as skillfully as possible. Having a challenging conversation is a skill you can learn. Instructors have difficult conversations with students, colleagues, and administrators all the time. It is well worth the effort to learn how to do it well. Additionally, when you learn how to have these conversations skillfully, they are much less stressful. Although there are many books and trainings on this topic, one of the best is Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when the Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson et al.
Resources:
Covey, S. The Speed of Trust. [City]: Free Press, 2006.
Patterson, K. Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition. [City]: McGraw-Hill, 2011.
Tugend, A. “Praise is Fleeting, but Brickbats We Recall.” New York Times, March 23, 2012. http://www.nytimes.com/.
Stephanie Delaney is the Dean of Extended Learning at Seattle Central College.
